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My Secret Love

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Why it’s never going to happen. (But it doesn't end the way you think it does.)

We all love someone. We love our parents, our friends and so many more. But let’s all admit that with all of those whom we love, there will always be that “secret love” we keep from everyone. They’re special and they make you happy in a way others cannot.

I have a secret love. He isn’t perfect and I know it. For instance, even though he’s ­­young and has black hair, he already has a few gray strands on his head. I think he inherited this from his parents or his hair probably lacks melanin, the pigment that gives our hair its color. He is light-skinned and quite hairy… not just on his head but also on his face, armpits, and legs. I guess males really have more body hair than females.

My secret love is good at keeping himself neat and presentable every day. In fact, I noticed that he really likes to comb his hair. He is also very active. I’ve seen him doing parkour with his friends and if you see him too, you would attest that he’s such a natural at it that it looks like parkour was made for him. He and his family also like hunting as a way of spending their leisure time productively. But don’t worry; they don’t hunt for animals like tigers, birds, or bears. Instead, they hunt for the rats that pester their house.

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Parkour (Photo from wallpapersafari.com)

No, I’m not a stalker. I know all these things about him because we’re friends. In fact, we’re very close friends! We are so close that he is almost like a brother. But I know it’s never going to happen.

[pullquote]We are so close that he is almost like a brother. But I know it’s never going to happen[/pullquote]

My secret love holds a very special place in my heart. He has been there for me through my sunniest and stormiest days. I remember the time I went to the beach with him — he was so scared to swim that he ran away from me when I tried to splash water on him. I also remember all the times we ate together. Once, he choked on his food. I had no idea what to do and ended up just crying and apologizing until he was able to stop. Another time, we had a sleepover at our house (yes, we’re so close that my parents let him sleep over) and he fell off the bed he was sleeping on and all I did was laugh at him because I really did find it funny. I remember the times we watched movies together and ended up sleeping without even finishing the film. We have made many good memories — moments of pure happiness and friendship. And then there were the bad days.

We’re such close friends that my parents let him sleep over

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Watching a movie together (Photo from theodesseyonline.com)

One time, I was crying like crazy because I was so stressed out and lacked sleep, and had financial problems and loads of schoolwork. He was there beside me and simply stared into my eyes and leaned into me. No, he didn’t hug me, but the warmth of his body was enough to calm me down. He is always a great stress reliever.

Another time, he got sick and I accompanied him to the doctor. I saw his eyes sparkle with so much love and knew he was thanking me for being there for him. Right then and there, I knew he loved me even if he wouldn’t tell me, and I knew he knew that I loved him back even if I wouldn’t tell him either.

[pullquote]I knew he loved me even if he wouldn’t tell me[/pullquote]

My secret love has met my parents and they are fond of him. In fact, they like it when he stays in our home every single day. I think that proves that he also has a special place in my family’s heart. They find him nice, friendly, caring, and thoughtful, and I can attest to that.

But he’s not perfect. He also has traits that I don’t appreciate. He can be prideful, demanding, bossy, annoying, and noisy. He gets jealous so easily, and I hate that about him. But as I think about it, I realize that I’m just like him. In fact, we have a lot in common, which might be why we get along so well.

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Photo from knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu

My favorite thing about my secret love is not the way he looks, or how smart and funny he is. It’s actually how he turns on some kind of hidden switch inside me and causes me to feel better and wish for him to be around me all the time.

Sometimes I think it’s his smile, or his eyes, or his warmth that triggers the ‘switching on’ feeling inside me. I wonder if he feels the same way about me, considering that we always spend time together and that I’ve always been there for him too.

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Photo from tumblr/imagequotes

I do want to ask him if I make him feel the same way but it won’t matter. He probably won’t say something either. He’s really good at not saying anything to me — he just keeps on staring at me until I realize what he’s trying to say. Whenever an obstacle gets in my way, I talk to him about it but all I get is complete silence. He’s not mad when he does that. I guess the only choice he has is to listen to me. And even if he wants to say something to me, I doubt I’ll understand it.

Whenever an obstacle gets in my way, I talk to him about it but all I get is complete silence

No, he’s not mute; he can speak… but not the words that normal people understand. And just because I said he can’t speak words, I didn’t mean to say that he’s a mentally challenged person.

He can’t speak words because when he tries to do so, he meows instead. That’s who he is and I love him for being that.

Yes, my secret love is my cat, Pino.

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My love, Pino.
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About the author

Zora Alfanta

Zora Alfanta

Zora has always been fond of reading books and writing stories and poetry. A Media Communication student at the University of San Carlos, Zora sees communication not just as an act of connection, but of building a relationship with others. After she graduates, she plans to explore not just the real world, but also the world of arts.

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